A moment to pause...

"Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent. --Ludwig Wittgenstein"

"I choose the beaten path. I've been to where it leads. Why I keep coming back?--a mystery to me." --Nofx "Pump up the valium"

"Happiness is love, nothing else. A man who is capable of love is happy." --Hermann Hesse

So last weekend my Dad flew in for a brief stop-over. He lives in the Philippines and works as a consultant in the energy field, the firm he founded focuses on the Philippine energy sector and to quote his site

provides comprehensive advisory and support to utilities, power producers, retail suppliers, and large retail customers in the Philippine electricity sector.

Some of you may know his blog Mamutong that I link to everyonce in a while.

Sitting here at home with my fiance after dropping him off from the airport I can only sit and feel good. Nietzsche in his twilight of the idols has a maxim that says

Once and for all there is a great deal I do not want to know.--Wisdom sets bounds even to knowledge.

I don't want to communicate how much pleasure and pure joy I've felt over the past three days. If I were to try to communicate these feelings of joy and love I'd be wasting my time. Its something you experience not something you can learn.
Living on the other side of the world from someone you love is very hard to learn how to adapt to. And often times I say that to people and they think that I'm speaking of my own circumstances and can't really relate. But its not necessaryially space or literal distance that divides. I've known far to many people who see each other every day; and yet both can have a divide that seperates them. In a way they very might feel as if the other is on the other side of the world. Luckily I don't have that with my dad. I've always had a connection and bond with him that makes me feel connected no matter how far apart we may be in this world.

I've had lots of ups and down in my life. During that time my Dad wasn't always able to be around; because of work obligations and a market that didn't allow for such conviences--as millions of migratant workers across the globe know, you go to where the demand for your work is. Many times in the midst of chaos my own life my Dad has appeared and given me a place where I felt acknowledged if not always understood.

In my Dad I had a kindered spirit who never was phased by the minor points of diversion and indulgence that sent many a head a twrilling around me. He was never phased... no matter what color hair... or new philosophical path I was strolling down. He was able to jump right in and share my excitiment, sadness, or anger. When you're a teenager and you look around and see intolerance, deprivation, and inhumanity of such magnitude that it seems incomprehensible to want to engender some place of comfort and progress--and is mind boggling how others can just go about their business. My Dad was always able to listen and share the same baffelment with man's inhumanity towards other man. But he kept plugging away, and would share his little places of joy and moments of beauty.
But to get to have him swing by and for us both to take a moment to pause and be with each other. For me to get to finally introduce him to my future wife, my dog; the little pieces of my life that can only be experienced not told.

We got to sit around and talk. Its exciting for me to finally bring stories of a life worth living. I'm finally getting my footing in this world and am going off in a million different directions that are fruitful, productive, and exciting. It is wonderful to get to share such things with your father. One of a childs most fundamental impulses is to make their parents proud of them. He has tried so hard and in so many ways to tell me--even in the midsts of what seems to be such low points of my life how proud of me he was and how much he felt my gifts bring to the world. And I am forever greatful for his efforts and I see and hear what he was saying back then so much more now. I needed someone then telling me things I couldn't quite grasp or see.

But it feels wonderful to share the excitements and expereiences that I am busy working to accomplish. I have found a niche in the world. From the love of my life to the many many wonderful people I now surround myself with. I am a part of a community of people who actively work to be a exactly that--a community, look out for others, and take on the all too common challenges that used to make me rage as a child.

So yeah for short weekend trips from Dad... such are the blessing of life. They rejuvinate in ways that can't be explained.